The Connected Child Discussion Questionnaire

The Connected ChildDiscussion Questionnaire

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Download the pdf version of the questions here: Connected Child Discussion Questions

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CHAPTER 1 – Hope and Healing

1. What healing elements must be combined to reduce the multiple effects of harm, whether caused by prenatal or postnatal environment, malnutrition, poverty, caretaking, or abuse? (p4)

2. What are the child-rearing obstacles that have been established in the American culture that undermine strong parent-child connections and secure attachment? (p13)

3. When a parent achieves a balance of nurture and structure what is experienced by the child? (p16)

CHAPTER 2 – Where Your Child Began

1. In your own words, describe the phenomenon of matching. (p25)

2. Cite several of the symptoms often displayed by children who are neglected and mistreated early in life. (p26)

3. Describe what a child from “hard places” will need in order to develop attachment skills in the future. (p30)

CHAPTER 3 – Solving the Puzzle of Difficult Behavior

1. What physical and mental impairments do children from “hard places” carry with them? (p 34)

2. By tuning into a child, what can be learned about the child’s behavior? Please list five of the specific responses to look for in a child. (p45)

3. Behavior provides a clue to a child’s history. A child who experienced severe trauma or abuse lacks five connections. Please list the five connections the child lacks. (p46)

CHAPTER 4

1. In your own words, describe the meaning of felt safety.

For application: Name two specific strategies a parent can use to reduce a child’s chronic fear and give and example of each.

Chapter 5 – Teaching Life Values

1. Name at least 4 life values and for each give an example of how this could be conveyed appropriately on the child’s level.

CHAPTER 6 – You are the Boss

1. Name the elements of the IDEAL Response model, describing the purpose and importance of each.

2. Why is it important for you to become comfortable with choices and compromises, especially if you are accustomed to “laying down the law”?

CHAPTER 7 – Dealing with Defiance

1. What are three key but basic strategies caregivers must remember when dealing with defiance?

2. Describe how you can detect if you are achieving the right balance of connecting and correcting?

3. In your own words, list the rules of Connected Families.

CHAPTER 8 – Nurturing at Every Opportunity

1. In your own words, state why you think poor self-esteem is linked to a variety of behavioral and health problems in adolescence.

2. In this chapter there are several different nurturing strategies discussed. Pick 5 different nurturing strategies your family could benefit from. Describe how you could incorporate them into your daily life.

3. Take the parenting quiz on page 169. Think about how your parents/caretakers nurtured you. In your own words, state the “mistaken assumption” many parents struggle with.

CHAPTER 9 – Proactive Strategies to Make Life Easier

1. In your own words, list and describe 4 proactive strategies you can use.

2. What challenges do you anticipate in becoming proactive with managing your child’s behavior?

3. How can a daily schedule help families become more proactive?

CHAPTER 10 – Supporting Healthy Brain Chemistry

1. We live in a “drive thru” way of life for meals. How can you make changes to your lifestyle to support healthy brain chemistry for your child?

2. What nutrition tips do you feel are most important?

3. Research suggests it’s possible to improve children’s brain chemistry by using behavior interventions. What interventions can you use to help improve your child’s brain chemistry?

CHAPTER 11 – Handling Setbacks

1. What can prevent parents from recognizing progress in their child?

2. When parents feel that family connections have been derailed, what should they do to get refocused?

CHAPTER 12 – Healing Yourself to Heal Your Child

1. Name at least two ways your attachment style might influence your ability to be actively involved in your child’s healing?

2. What steps can you take to have healing in your own personal life?

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